introspection..

There r some questions that have been bothering me for the past few days.. or have possibly taken shape quite some time back but surfaced recently..
am i doing to my best?
what am i here for?
what do i want from this place?
what should i do to get what i want?

these seem so simple at the outset.. but believe me.. the answers to these questions depend on my mood at the time of answering.. so do i think will be the case with you..
instead of answering from my current situation.. i thought it would give me a better idea if i go back n have a look at what actually made me take this course here..

basically.. after life at a college.. the work life was not all that fun.. except that i got my own money.. with no hassles on the spending initial years seemed worth the work.. then i saw that around me.. there were more engineers than kindergarden students.. n the number seemed to be increasing by leaps n bounds every year..
i thought the only way i could sustain my own career path was by either performing extremely well in the technical field i was in.. (which i suck at..) n shifting the companies to higher posts.. or by finding a place to study which adds hugest possible value to my career.. yea.. mba from one of the iims.. the idea at that time was that getting a monthly six figure salary would a cake walk once u get into one of these institutes.. i would not comment on whether or not that is true.. now that i m here..
that was the primary reason for my appearing for cat.. n as for the other reasons..
loved college life too much to miss if given a chance..
wanted to take part in every possible event i missed at REC..
wanted to enjoy every single moment..
wanted to feel the pride of studying along with the best..
wanted to prove to myself that i would be able to get what i want..

getting in here..
its more of luck than of hard work alone.. the kind of paper that comes.. the mood you r in during the exam.. the section u start with.. the questions you select..
everything matters.. there is a chance that people who deserve a place here miss.. but i strongly feel that every single person who comes in deserves this place..

i still remember how hard i tried to improve my resume.. n how bad i felt the need for time.. every time i thought of adding some point.. i used to feel.." i wish i had done this at college..".. that was the time i decided i would never ever want to say.. "i wish i had.... " again...

now that i m here.. n now that i know what i thought before i came here.. i believe i am able to answer some questions.. but some questions r still left unanswered..
but i did get a direction from my own recent past.. lets see what i can do with what i have..

Singla's bday..

It was around 5 in the evening when i came from outside.. completely tired n was longing to feel the smooth bed behind my back.. met shwetttaaa, sum n madhvi in mess.. came to know of the gift they bought.. a nice looking table lamp for the bday girl who still has 4 years (not sure.. 4 or 5..) in this campus (dont feel sorry at all.. she is a would-be-prof..)..

there were plans of decorating someone's room n celebrating chitras bday there. at midnight..
n sum was too friendly to offer her room in advance.. thus i came back to my room having seen the gift these ppl bought n with an idea of the plans for celebration..
then passed my time in room watching heroes.. recently developed this habit of watching serials.. started with avatar..a cartoon series.. which i found extremely addictive.. sooo addictive that even the scariest of exams couldnt stop me from watching these..
had dinner.. came back to room.. was feeling extremely sleepy.. continued watching heroes n was fighting / chatting with a friend...
at around 11.20 in the night.. received summs call for decorating her room..
bday caps were bought for our group.. colour ribbons for the room.. bday cake..
went to summs room along with the camera.. the moment i entered the room... could not hold onto my lazy attitude anymore.. thanks to summ, madhavi n ayush... who were doing the work with lots n lots of enthu.. sticking the coloured ribbons, packing the gift. n arranging the room for the party.. nn I and vipul were helping them.. time was running ever faster.. with only 10 minutes to go to 12.. then only 5...
the bday girl's room is only two rooms from summs room.. so the girl was locked in her own room by madhavi so that she wouldnt know anything about our prep.. summ was shouting at the top of her voice to finish it fast.. obedient ayush was helpin one n all... madhavi finally finished packing the gift..

the time to call chitra has come..wearing the bday caps.. we all moved to her room.. all of us.. joined by gnani.. shwettaaa... sherps.. nn manisha.. went to wish chitra... unlocked her from her room n began :"happy birthday chitra..."..
the next thing.. asked her to come to summs room.. lights were off.. door was closed.. we know that chitra did not know anything about the decoration part.. the surprise was contained so well that the moment chitra opened the door n came in, seeing the preparation for her bday.. she was overcome by her emotions, she could not stop herself.. tears rolled down her eyes.. hugs.. pats.. smiles continued..
we sure have etched an unerasable memory of a bday for her.. n for all of us.. our efforts have more than paid off.. message conveyed.. that we care for her..
rest of the things like putting cake on her face.. asking her to sing and dance.. taking photos all through this.. were going on.. n the party was over at around 1.30..

on my way back to my room.. having said gnite to all..
for a moment i thought of what each one would go thru at the time when we people have to leave each other n move on...
hard but unavoidable fact.. harder to digest still...

term 3.. all fun...whn is the time for reading..??

The term 3 started with lots of promises for exciting events all through... i think in terms of the number of discrete events.. this secures the first position with a huge lead..
one week into the term n there is this Sangharsh.. the IIMA-IIMB sports meet where the best of both schools fight out for the lead.. the event takes place alternatively at A n B campuses.. this time it was our turn to be the host.. a batch of around 60 students from A came down here... we won the tournament.. though considerable efforts had to b put by our guys to defeat the title defenders.. out of 11 events, we defeated them 7 to 4..
the next week, a meet with IIMK.. Sangram.. a huge contingent of 120 ppl came from their campus.. but to no avail... this was more like a cake-walk for our guys.. even our sledgers were not needed.. the home team won by the hugest possible margin here.. i think it was 11 -2.. out of the 13 events, they managed to take 2 events from us..
once these events were done... the inter-hostel sports events start.. n they go on n on n on... actually they r still on...
wat fun is it if only sports related things happen always??
soo there is this yamini, a classical music concert organized by spic-macay chapter here.. which is generally conducted on the eve of jan 26.. the concert starts on jan 25 evening n goes on till jan 26 morning.. awesome performances by the maestros who came n mesmerized the audiences with their amazing performances..
then comes our very own Unmaad.. the super-mega event which spans across 3 days n nights.. believe me.. once the events start there is no break for 3 days n nights from fun.. there r events which start at night 1... n go on till morning.. :) .. awesome enthusiasm levels.. huge crowds.. unimaginable amounts in prizes...

how boring wud the life b... if there is only fun.. :( .. how would someone b able to enjoy the light if darkness was not there at all ??? :) .. it sounds good.. but doesnt experience the same way though.. light being fun part... darkness being the exams part..

once the dust settles down.. now tht one n a half months have passed by, without any major progress in studies.. (i m referring only to the junta who come out n take part or atleast be spectators for the events that go on.. ), ppl tighten their belts for a good amount of mugging for the mids which have been waiting to rip us in all possible angles..

me in the mid of my prep for mids got bored n thought of writing this.. hopefully .. the recollection of those sweet memories.. soothens my mind in watever small way possible.. n lets me concentrate on how to find a way through..