introspection..

There r some questions that have been bothering me for the past few days.. or have possibly taken shape quite some time back but surfaced recently..
am i doing to my best?
what am i here for?
what do i want from this place?
what should i do to get what i want?

these seem so simple at the outset.. but believe me.. the answers to these questions depend on my mood at the time of answering.. so do i think will be the case with you..
instead of answering from my current situation.. i thought it would give me a better idea if i go back n have a look at what actually made me take this course here..

basically.. after life at a college.. the work life was not all that fun.. except that i got my own money.. with no hassles on the spending initial years seemed worth the work.. then i saw that around me.. there were more engineers than kindergarden students.. n the number seemed to be increasing by leaps n bounds every year..
i thought the only way i could sustain my own career path was by either performing extremely well in the technical field i was in.. (which i suck at..) n shifting the companies to higher posts.. or by finding a place to study which adds hugest possible value to my career.. yea.. mba from one of the iims.. the idea at that time was that getting a monthly six figure salary would a cake walk once u get into one of these institutes.. i would not comment on whether or not that is true.. now that i m here..
that was the primary reason for my appearing for cat.. n as for the other reasons..
loved college life too much to miss if given a chance..
wanted to take part in every possible event i missed at REC..
wanted to enjoy every single moment..
wanted to feel the pride of studying along with the best..
wanted to prove to myself that i would be able to get what i want..

getting in here..
its more of luck than of hard work alone.. the kind of paper that comes.. the mood you r in during the exam.. the section u start with.. the questions you select..
everything matters.. there is a chance that people who deserve a place here miss.. but i strongly feel that every single person who comes in deserves this place..

i still remember how hard i tried to improve my resume.. n how bad i felt the need for time.. every time i thought of adding some point.. i used to feel.." i wish i had done this at college..".. that was the time i decided i would never ever want to say.. "i wish i had.... " again...

now that i m here.. n now that i know what i thought before i came here.. i believe i am able to answer some questions.. but some questions r still left unanswered..
but i did get a direction from my own recent past.. lets see what i can do with what i have..